THE WHOLE SORDID AFFAIR

Beaumont Dave is happily married (see Home Appliances), but there was that one night his Dot-Com-araderie nearly got him divorced. Fortunately, this passed and he and Mrs. Dave are still heavy into the Tumble Cycle.

Date: Sun, 3 Jan 1999 11:46:50 EST
From: DA6ver6@aol.com
Subject: [JJW] Busted Flat in Galveston, Waiting for the Papers to be Served

.... Or, boy did I pick a bad time to lose the Sears' employee discount card.

So, it happened like this. I was all set to arrive in Galveston plenty early for my big night out. It had to be a big night, because I was rolling the dice, so to speak.

Gambled a chance for another Pulitzer with another Christmas at the In-Laws expose -- and very likely Mrs. Dave, too -- for a trip to the Island and a musical experience to end all. Gonna take in one Jakijak Walker and visit with cyberpals at a reunion/wake for the old dice roller, Townes Van Zandt. It's gotta be the night of the year and I've gotta enjoy.

See, Mr. and Mrs. Dave (especially since they made grandparents out of the in-laws) have to -- it's a law, by-Gawd -- travel to see each in-law during theXmas/New Year's holidays.

Well, since my bro and his bunch flew in from Chicago (just avoiding the snowstorm) to my folks' place for Christmas, we spent the big day with my parents before rushing back to B-town because Sears told me I had to come in to work, because they needed me there in person tolay me off. (Apparently they got wind of my "Seamy Side of Sears" report, the Roebuck Naked Truth).

Well, so now we'd took care of my parents (now that's a thought) and only had my in-laws left to do (don't even go there), so we'll do like we often do to cover these twin trips (sure they're traumatic, but what food, and the tons of gifts ain't bad either.) We'll go rendezvous with that Deep East Texas crowd for New Year's Day. But wait ... Junior has to work at his food-service (busboy) job New Year's Day and since he's the only man in the house working anymore, well ... you know. And besides, says Mrs. Dave, we've got the whole weekend to run up to East Texas, deep East Texas.

Hold it right there, Cochise, I say ... and I can't tell you how much my wife likes to be called Cochise ... I've got a prior engagement on the evening of Jan. 2. Had my ticket bought for months (really, there's no ticket needed for the Townes wake and any actual viewing of JJW by this out-of-work layabout will be through the kindness of friends), least that's what I tell my wife. And besides, I tell her, remember all those family events your brother, my brother-in-law, missed for hunting trips. Well just tell Ma and Pa, that I'm on a "hunting trip."

Well, I can't wait to hear what Mrs. Dave hears I was hunting.

So I'm late leaving the house because the Dallas Cowboy game was just so spell-binding, wondering if they'd ever score, but I still am making good time and figure I'll be at the Old Quarter Acoustic Cafe (site of the Townes wake) by 7 or 7:15, which since I figured their show started at 9, would give me plenty of time to visit with Townes-list folks from Washington, D.C., Chicago, Phoenix, Germany, Tennessee and Austin, etc., and still hook up with the dot-coms for some Jakijak.

The sign says 2 miles to the ferry landing. It's 6:58. I think another coupleof minutes to the boat, I'll drive right on, I'll be there by 7:15, easy. Then, almost immediately, I turn a corner and have to slam on the brakes to avoid plowing into the line of stopped cars.

Well, let's just say I finally get to downtown Galveston and the Old Quarter at 8:30. I tell Don Morris, a dot-com from Chicago whose cross-country trips in search of OKOM are the stuff of legends on the Townes list, that I spent an hour and a half waiting on the ferry. He wants to know when I started hanging out with fairies.

So the Jerry Jeff show around the corner started at 8 without me, but I'm still in time for the 9pm start at the Old Quarter ... but whoops, that was 9pm last year. This year's show began at 7:30. Well, shit, but wait, Don says. A good fairy sneaked into the OQ and left a ticket to Jerry Jeff there for me. So I've got to acknowledge this person's kindness by walking around the corner to the Opry House.

OK ... so the lights are dark and the ticket's darker. Seems my sponsor has a family like mine and they tried to burn the ticket before I could use it. Well, anyway, I get ushered down to the fifth row, aisle, and with the smart-dressed retiree usher shining his flashlight all over the place, making quite the stylish late entrance.Then to make sure that everyone notices me, this blonde stands up and gives me a kiss. This blonde (let's call her Miss X) then wraps her arm around me and snuggles against my shoulder. Dave, Beaumont Dave, shaken not stirred, what a stud!

So the show is awesome (more on that later) and I quickly decide that the Townes wake/reunion can get by without me for say the next couple of hours, and intermission comes and me and Miss X step out front to make a pilgrimage to see Walter at the merch table. (Hello to Jam, too.) So, we're hanging out,waiting for the crowd to thin out and who should come up and say hello, but Bob, one of my best Beaumont friends, and his charming wife. Me, being ever the polite one, I introduce Miss X. Bob is that God-sent fellow who relieved me as Scoutmaster last fall and his charming wife runs a girl scout troop with Mrs. Dave. Bob knows I'm a Jeff-aholic and it's real neat that they'd be stepping out at the show, too.

Did I say stepping out? Well, as the second set comes to a roaring close with John Inmon breathing through his eyes like Nuke Laloush in Bull Durham and Jerry Jeff singing his wife's 50th birthday serenade, it dawns on me that I've just been spotted by my wife's best friend with an unexplained blonde kissing and hugging me while the rest of my family is off at grandma's and I'm on a "hunting" trip.

Did I ever mention how much I love and respect the work done by all the lawyers on JJW-L??? Perhaps the esteemed authors of this list (help me outhere, Mr. Bowman, sir) could craft me a reasonable explanation.
There was a comment here the last day or two about someone losing the JJW records in a nasty domestic parting. Well, believe me, I'll get the JJW records. I just hope they don't keep them too long in the evidence room. Because that's probably all I'll be left with.

So, you homewreckers, here's the set list, best I could make out (I missed thefirst half-hour, remember).

This, from Walter, who joined us at the OQ after the show.

Jerry Jeff opened by telling the crowd that they had to behave better than last year (thank you, JJ) and that they couldn't bring beer to their seats.

Then he opened with Gypsy Songman.

Me, I was still in line on the Bolivar Peninsula somewhere.

But I will say this about the part I was there for. The crowd behaved really well, except for a few drunken requests after the intermission chugging. Bestof all, Jerry Jeff was in a great mood and didn't cuss anyone out. He was soft and tender and everyone seemed to be having a great time. He told a lot of stories about the songs, several of which I'd never heard.

The band added some rock-and-roll licks to LHSB and UATWR. Jerry Jeff intro'd UATWR with a two-verse poem, only parts of the first did I get down on paper (anyone got the full version?) "If there were no redneck mothers to go theirbail all the Ray Wylie Hubbards, Jerry Jeff Walkers and David Allan Coe's would still be in jail. ... There wouldn't be any Leadbelly songs ..." And Jerry Jeff changed the words a bit on Man In the Big Hat ... "the campfire where I cooked my beans. Hell, you could hear the farts for miles."

So, I'll need Miss X and whatever other dot-coms were lurking there to fill me in on the early stuff ...sure it included Bojangles, huh?

The rest of the show (seen by moi).
The Dutchman
Dinosaur Blues
Boats to Build ... it was so quiet you could hear Cosmic Bob snap his fingers
Sangria Wine
Fred Neal Medley
L.A. Freeway

intermission

Lovin' Makes The Livin' Worthwhile
Pickup Truck
LHSB
UATWR
Trashy Women
Big Hat
Hands on the Wheel
Luckenbach
Coat from the Cold
Jaded Lover
Navajo Rug
Rodeo Wind
Rod-eo-eo Cowboy
Contrary to Ordinary ... John Inmon's In the Zone, Miss X says

encore

(Song for Susan's BD, don't know the name)
Auld Lang Syne ... til the Cows Come Home
Takin' It As It Comes

great story accompanied Contrary to Ordinary, how Jerry Jeff was partying at Willie's the night before the third Willie Picnic, and there were two clowns there, Billy Jim Baker and I believe the other's name was said to be ThunderFart, and they were doing flips and such in Willie's living room. Anyway, Billy Jim played a song -- Contrary to Ordinary, as it turned out --and Jerry Jeff decided to record it. Jerry Jeff said then Billy Jim called him a few weeks later and told him Ringling Brothers Circus was going to be at the Summit in Houston and they wanted him to come be a guest clown. Jerry Jeff said he called his writer friend (and sometime Ann Richards escort) Bud Shrake (he wrote the Contrary liner notes, the album's backcover features JJ as a clown) and Bud, too, had received an invite.

"He said, "Jakijak, there are some invitations you just can't turn down."

"And, your honor, when you get a ticket to see Jerry Jeff in Galveston, no matter which pretty blonde is offering it up, that's an invitation you just can't turn down.

Shit, I hope she buys it.

Dave, Beaumont Dave

It's cold in this trailer